I'm No Sissy But....

This just broke my heart. Just because the media no longer beat us upside the head with military stories and deaths, doesn't mean we can go about our civilian lives with no regard to those whom are affected. I'm guilty of this and this photo brought me back to the reality that people are still being deployed in the thousands and an equal number of families are affected by it.

As reported by Vince Lattanzio of NBC Philadelphia, "A family photo that shows a little girl beside her father and his fellow soldiers in uniform as they prepare to go to war has resonated well beyond the tight knit Bennethum clan.

Four-year-old Paige Bennethum really, really didn't want her daddy to go to Iraq.

So much so, that when Army Reservist Staff Sgt. Brett Bennethum lined up in formation at his deployment this July, she couldn't let go. "



"No one had the heart to pull her away."

I'm no sissy but how could this not tug at your heart strings. The heart of a child is one of the most purest, honest, and loving things in existence. Pain and sadness should be no where in the picture.

I Can't Say Yes Until He Asks.....

I'm sitting here watching Say Yes To The Dress. I'm not gonna lie, sometimes I think about myself, envisioning shopping for my own wedding dress. Mom & Dad in tow and tearing up when I'm trying on dress after dress after dress, from Barbie to Cinderella to even a mermaid style. They probably won't really tear up but this is MY fantasy damnit! And fantasy indeed it seems.

I've always wanted to give my Dad the son he never had, first with my husband that he just adores and second with a grandson, one that he loves even more than me! OK so maybe I've wavered back and forth on the grandson but as I get older, I want it ALL. I want the husband that loves me just as much, if not more than himself, the 2.5 kids, 5 BR home, luxury car in the garage, career that I love.

But as I look over my relationships, past and current, I realize I've never been close to marriage. Never been close to having that life, the supposedly "natural" progression that occurs after you've matured. You go to school, graduate, start your career, then you find someone you love, get married and have kids.

Isn't that how you're taught it's supposed to go? What happened to that? Why are people not settling down until they are 40+, needing 18+ years after getting a degree to settle down? Or having kids and never getting married (not that that is an ideal reason to get married if there is no love but you didn't have all these "that's my baby daddy/mama" situations in excess as we do today).

My parents have said it doesn't matter not having a son-in-law or any more grandchildren but I don't think they'll feel the same way once they start to feel "old". I sometimes feel like I'm being judged, even by my parents. Dating, but never getting far enough in a relationship to want to bring him around my family. Where is this man for me and only me? I don't need to be attractive to and in the opinion of many men, just the one intended for me! I want to be asked because...

I Can't Say Yes Until He Asks!!!

Dead Flame

Mentally, I know that dating is a numbers game.

Emotionally, not so much.

I thought I met a nice guy FOR A CHANGE:



A. Tall
B. Cute
C. Too serious though blah :-/
D. Degree & employed
E. NO KIDS!!!! (no offense to the parents but finding a man 30+ these days with no kids is like actual skittles falling out the damn sky).

We went on a few dates, I liked him and I thought the feeling was mutual. Our dates were further apart than normal being he traveled for work 100% of the time. So needless to say, phone conversations, lots of BB messenger conversations occurred between us.

We "hooked up" once, if you can even call it that. Neither one of us hit the plateau b/c he lost momentum, if you get my drift. I was incredibly disappointed having built up to this moment and it turned out completely wrong and lasting 5 minutes! But having become fond of the guy, I wasn't going to implement my first impression rule, "get it right the first time or you'll never get it again" into the situation.

And then the issues began or he stopped hiding them....he ceased calling, no BBM(s)...should I really have to "ask" you to call? Doesn't take long for me to get the picture, I will chase no man. I approached him with it and got a dumb ass excuse about him going through some shit. Ok, I'll give you some space. And I did, lots of it. Honestly I didnt believe that bullshit with any ounce of me. What I do believe is that he couldn't be a man about the situation. You're not interested anymore, say it! Don't play games...it's worse!

Well of course, we no longer speak at all. I'm tempted to delete him from my facebook and BBM but I haven't as of yet.

Some days it bothers me that I don't know why he flipped the script, other days I couldn't give a shit.