I Can't Say Yes Until He Asks.....

I'm sitting here watching Say Yes To The Dress. I'm not gonna lie, sometimes I think about myself, envisioning shopping for my own wedding dress. Mom & Dad in tow and tearing up when I'm trying on dress after dress after dress, from Barbie to Cinderella to even a mermaid style. They probably won't really tear up but this is MY fantasy damnit! And fantasy indeed it seems.

I've always wanted to give my Dad the son he never had, first with my husband that he just adores and second with a grandson, one that he loves even more than me! OK so maybe I've wavered back and forth on the grandson but as I get older, I want it ALL. I want the husband that loves me just as much, if not more than himself, the 2.5 kids, 5 BR home, luxury car in the garage, career that I love.

But as I look over my relationships, past and current, I realize I've never been close to marriage. Never been close to having that life, the supposedly "natural" progression that occurs after you've matured. You go to school, graduate, start your career, then you find someone you love, get married and have kids.

Isn't that how you're taught it's supposed to go? What happened to that? Why are people not settling down until they are 40+, needing 18+ years after getting a degree to settle down? Or having kids and never getting married (not that that is an ideal reason to get married if there is no love but you didn't have all these "that's my baby daddy/mama" situations in excess as we do today).

My parents have said it doesn't matter not having a son-in-law or any more grandchildren but I don't think they'll feel the same way once they start to feel "old". I sometimes feel like I'm being judged, even by my parents. Dating, but never getting far enough in a relationship to want to bring him around my family. Where is this man for me and only me? I don't need to be attractive to and in the opinion of many men, just the one intended for me! I want to be asked because...

I Can't Say Yes Until He Asks!!!